The Pet Mall

I'm sitting in a mall not older than a year and it is a dying mall. The bees have taken their credit cards and moved the hive elsewhere. What if it was turned into a pet mall?

Humans like me would not have to feel the 'rush home' itch after 30 minutes away from home. My movie starts only in another hour but I'm uncomfortable about wasting my time away from the pack because there is enough of that during the week.

I could bring them all with me!

 Instead of car guards there would be someone helping you get the hooligans out of the car without incident. The security guards will be patrolling with water spray guns - aggressive dog control.

There would be vet consultation rooms, pet gyms (where you'd get personal trainers - ha!), health shops, pet product convenience stores, boutiques for the Chihuahuas, a day care center, a games parlor where you can play catch the virtual rabbit, toy stores, cat-anariums, movie theaters (for the humans while the Bassets are at the games parlor), biltong bars, snack shops, cookie shops, sound stores (where you buy nothing but make as much noise as you can), restaurants where you can sneak things off low tables without getting into trouble, smelly perfume stores, mattress shops. There would be fire hydrants and patches of lawn in the bathrooms, talking to and sniffing strangers would not be dangerous.

can we go to the mall please? Please...please...lots of please?

No one will ever want to go back home again, which is why those guys in the parking lot would have to help get the hooligans back into the car. (Plus the shopping bags)